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'Mail' Newspaper Articles

Focal Point for publishing 13/01/04

Changes in 2004 for Relationship Success

Changes in 2004 are inevitable if we want to address the statistics of nearly 400 bookings at Valley Care Counselling Service in 2003. Broken relationship made up 30% of these cases. In order to bring as much healing as possible in 2003 we were acting as rescuing 'para-medics' at the bottom of the cliff, with deep cuts of brokenness bringing pain for clients and counsellors alike. The new challenge that will take longer than 2004 to implement will be to reposition ourselves with all the resources of our community, preventatively at the top of the cliff. The need to move away from that which was not working drove the change for 'clean up Australia', the abhorrence of racial vilification, our societal reversal on smoking, our attitude to protection from the sun and what is now changing our attitude to water wastage? One way to reposition ourselves is to teach our children at the earliest age about real love, commitment and respect that builds solid friendships / relationships. Another will be to encourage couples entering relationships to commit to learn about the nature of what they are entering, and not least of all, as their mentors, give them a good and workable model to follow. Unfortunately too many breaking relationships have the same elements --- an ignorance of the true meaning of love, a try before you buy mentality, an attitude that says, 'if I don't feel the same about you as I once did, I will search for someone else', (the later two reflecting our society's throw away mentality) or 'I deserve a better deal. After all it's me that should be happy,' etc. etc. All too often couples vow in their marriage ceremony that which they are either untrained or unwilling to carry out. There has to be a solid commitment to love, build trust, and invest in each other and cop the good as well as the bad. Maybe we should go back to the imperatives for marriage that God has laid down in His Christian Scriptures and that Jesus reinforced. 1/ A relationship is to be a long term commitment, 2/ Faithfulness is vital for the building of trust which has a subsequent enduring result, and 3/ A recognition that God, the creator of the concept can bless and guide us. Have a great New Year. If you'd like to comment or give some feedback, e-mail me from the website, www.focalpoint.org.au or if you need help in your relationship ring the following number for a booking with Valley Care Counselling Service. 0409 517273

Graeme Dawson


Focal Point Yarra Valley 2009