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'Mail' Newspaper Articles

Focal Point (For publishing 9/04/02)

No Plans for Marriage

"Honest guy looking for a caring understanding appreciative soulmate"; a local newspaper ad. This speaks volumes of the times we live in and the statistical prediction that within the next ten years we will be living in predominantly single person households. Already in our community, we have one of the highest single parent ratios in the state. It appears that the advertiser's enticement to indulge ourselves is starting to work. "Pamper yourself", "you're worth it", " be yourself". This self centered state can also be found in the pages where we read of the genuine partner-seeker. "Married man seeks to meet married lady for discreet fun daytime". This is contributing to the statistics that tell us that approx 35% of first marriages are breaking down and 50% of subsequent ones. Of course there are many who simply find themselves in a single state without choice and there are those who choose to live the single lifestyle. I'm privileged to work with people who plan for a good marriage, but sadly I also work with too many bad, breaking or broken marriages/relationships. Even though weddings can take up to twelve months to plan, and thousands of dollars can be spent; not much care, time or money is spent on planning for the marriage. Many start into a relationship on a 'let's move in and see how it goes' basis, and never seem to get around to making the deeper commitment. They have no foundations upon which they are built and no mechanism in place for decision making and dispute resolution. There is a good saying going around; 'to fail to plan is to plan to fail'. I'm sure that every person entering a genuine relationship is looking for love, trust and meaningful interaction, but that doesn't automatically follow. Solid marriages take work and unswerving commitment, but the rewards can bring some of life's deepest satisfaction. Where ever you are in the relationship stakes, planning or many years in, its not too late to do some constructive work. You don't have to be sick to get better. Why not contact us at Valley Care Counselling Service for trained and confidential counsellors who can help you work out a good forward plan or help pick up the pieces in a difficult or breaking relationship. For Counselling ring 0409 517273.

Graeme Dawson
Focal Point
0409 517273


Focal Point Yarra Valley 2009